This may or may not be the skiing story I promised...

Oh! If only I could take you little nuggets with me on my bike rides to and from the office!

I see and hear so many things, it is sometimes difficult to remember all the things that happen in that 15 minute span of time. I mean... there are other things to pay attention to. Cars... not getting run over... red lights... dog poo... etc.

BUT today! You are in so much luck (can you feel it?)! I had a slightly epic ride home today.

First, it is a beautiful day here in NUE. The sun is out and it is not boiling hot, a little chilly even! I was enjoying my ride and then a man rode by. And oh what a man.

First: He was *madly* pedaling his bike. Like "I will pee my pants in the next 20 seconds if I dont get home soon" fast.

Most importantly: He was wearing a surgeon's mask, SKI GOGGLES, and headphones. Did i mention the ski goggles? That is what really make me almost run into the pole.

I am no stranger to eating a few bugs on my bike rides and picking bugs out of my eye afterwards. But, as human beings are want to do, I learned from my mistakes so I keep my damn mouth shut when I ride my bike and I wear sunglass every.day. I prefer getting my protein from chicken not nasty bugs that have been godknowswhere. This guy, takes it a whole step further. He gives those bugs NO CHANCE to get near his eyes or mouth. Nosirbobsir.

Still giggling about the SKI GOGGLES, I stop at the red light down the street like the polite biker that doesnt want to get killed by a crossing car that I am. There is another biker waiting with me at the corner.

Now he is a professional biker because he was one of those spandex biker overall things on. with his (what I can only describe as) Hawaiian shirt underneath. Not to mention, the bottom half of this get up is BRIGHT BABY PIG PINK.

I nearly lose my balance from laughing as he takes off in front of me only to have a GIANT zucchini come flying out of his bag from hitting a bump. OMG it is so big. He notices something happened, but keeps riding away. I stop and pick up the veggie and try to yell after the man, but he is professionally biking way faster than me.

So here I am, with a giant zucchini in my hand trying to pedal as fast as I can to catch up with this Hawaiian shirt man and give it back to him. Ugh. He's too far away. It's a veggie right? Biodegradable? YES. *chuck* into the woods. "BE Free!" I shouted as I pedaled off into the sunlight.

I caught up with him at the next red light. I avoided eye contact.

TL;DR: this is not the skiing story. it's about bike rides.

The Story of How I Creeped a Guy Out At the Gym

Hey Kids! Long time no talk!

I know, I know. It's my fault. But see, I had to go out and live life for a while so that I could get into silly situations and bring you hilarious new stories. And boy do I have some good ones!

Let's start with something more recent: yesterday.

I have been hitting the gym pretty hard in the last couple of weeks and I have recently started running again. Usually I like running outside, but in an effort to keep my work out together, I stayed at the gym to use the treadmill.

Now, I dont mind running at all, but I do get bored after 15 minutes. I make it my mission to have a peppy, happy dance mix for running to keep me motivated the whole time and I smile the whole time I run. Oh, and I lip synch.... everything... and yes I am still smiling.

My usual treadmill is one of the last few in the cardio room and faces some of the lesser used elliptical machines. Well, yesterday I was on the first treadmill right as you enter and it faces the most popular elliptical/step thingie. I like the other treadmill because I can look out the window while I run and lip synch to Britney Spears. On this treadmill I am directly infront of the other machine and the only focal point is the machine label that is at about breast height of the person on the machine. Also, for visual purposes, the machines are just far enough away that you cant really tell where the person in front of you is looking.

I didn't think much of it, because no one was on the elliptical thingie machine when I got on, but about half way through my run, someone got on the machine. Now, I have been running at a good clip for about 20 minutes so I am sweaty and not wanting to do this anymore, so I need major motivation, which kicks up my lip synching activities. And my music selection this day was particularly choice.

He gets on the machine and starts going and then somewhere along the way he notices me. Just ever so slightly. Then I think he just could tell if I was really looking at him or what. He moved his head around like "why are you staring at me?" and then figured i was looking at something behind him and looked back there, and of course there was nothing of interest. The whole time I am honestly focusing on the logo at the front of his machine (still singing) and watching him through my peripheral vision.

At one point he just decided to ignore me and kept working out.

In the matter of the next 25 minutes I inadvertently sang to the man on the machine in front of me (among others):
Eminem "I'm not afraid"
Train "Save me San Francisco"
Some song about bitches and hos that i dont remember
and
Whitney Houston's classing "I Wanna Dance with Somebody"

He would look up at me every once in a while with a strange look, but when I hit Whitney I was giving it everything I had. I sang every "YEA" and "OO" I even did that arm thing that singers do when they are singing really hard (a. what is that called and 2. please tell me you know what I am talking about! you know, the slight bicep curl and you bring it up over your head... no.. anyone...).
I couldn't help myself, that song gets me so pumped and dance-y, I just have to act it out a little. Well apparently that was enough for the machine man. He started looking around again and acted confused, then shook his head and got off the machine.

Maybe creeped out is a strong term. Perhaps I just confused him. In any event, it was a bit more entertainment for my run.

Thanks for reading all of that!
For those who didn't read:
TL;DR: I lip synch while I run on the treadmill and people find that confusing

Tune in soon! I will tell you about the time I almost died in the Alps. :-)

Bye Kids!