I. WILL. NOT. FREEZE.

Today my plan was to go to my yoga class. But I had some errands to run in town, so I thought "eh, I will go for a run after I get home."
Of course when I got home the thunder and lightning rolled in. I could still see some blue sky on the horizon so I did some tasks I had been putting off and waited for the rain to stop. When it did, I pulled on the running clothes, tied my shoes, started my running mix and went out the door.
I downloaded an app today that has a 5k running plan on it. Other apps I have used in the past have talked to me, and this one wasn't talking to me, so after the 5 minute warm up I stopped off to the side of the path to figure it out.
I was fussing with the app when all of a sudden *THWACK* something hits my right butt cheek. I whirl to my right to see a figure passing right by me on a bike. I. Was. Stunned. the next few sentences passed through my brain within a matter of milliseconds.

Did that just happen!?
Who was that?
What the hell?
DID.
THAT.
JUST.
HAPPEN.

All this as he was peddling his bitch ass away. I. FROZE. I couldnt get over the shock of the fact that a STRANGER came out of no where and slapped my ass like it was nothing. And was just riding away. He was just RIDING AWAY.

I yelled at him "ENTSCHULDIGUNG!!?!?!?!?"

HE STARTED TO PEDAL FASTER. You know why? Because he knew what he did was a cowardly thing. and he knew that i didnt get a good look at him. and if he pedals hard now, i never will. And i am still standing there, shocked, confused, and frozen.

Now, in my 30 years, i have had my fair share of uninvited physical contact. There is no justification for any unwanted touching of ANYONE, but I have (in the past) chalked these instances up to the situations I was in. At a crowded concert, the occasional grab or brush I would just attribute that to being in a crowd and move along. But i have NEVER in my LIFE have had my personal space VIOLATED like this before.

My use of the word violated is intentional. Some may say this is a harsh word for this situation. But, it's not. My space was violated. My body was violated. Someone came out of no where and hit me with no recourse or regret. This is not ok. I felt so alone; I felt so .... ugh. I felt like some part of me had been taken. I was angry with myself that I just stood there. I could have ran after him, pushed him off his bike and punched him or made him look at me and explain why he thinks it is ok to do something like that to someone.

I dont understand. I dont understand how people can be like this. I dont understand why I didnt run after him.

I continued my run, mulling this whole situation in my head. It started to rain, I ran faster. All the while still thinking about this idiot on the bike.

If I was a more eloquent writer, I would start on a whole diatribe of today's rape culture that teaches boys that this sort of thing is ok and acceptable and teaches girls that these things happen and it's best to just to keep their mouths shut and take this quietly. But I wont go down that road.

What I will say is this --

To everyone (boys, girls, men, women): It is NEVER ok for someone to touch you without your consent. Never. In. any. way.

To the bitch ass punk on his bike: that was a one time thing. It will never happen again. First, because I am ordering one of these:  http://www.amazon.com/Pepper-Spray-Bracelet-Personal-Silicone/dp/B00E3HSPL2
Secondly, next time I. WILL. NOT. FREEZE. Next time you had better pedal and pedal hard. Because next time I will run after you. I will catch you and I will make sure that pepper spray gets right in your eyes. Then you can feel what it is like to have someone invade your space in an unwanted way.